Saturday, April 7, 2018

Two Years With Gabe

How in the world did April get here so fast?! Time is flying by! Well, last month we celebrated 2 years with Gabe and his 5th birthday, so I just wanted to take a few moments on this cold, wintery, spring day to reflect on how far he has come in that time.

It truly is amazing when I stop and really think about it. When we met Gabe he had just turned 3 the day before and he had just started walking independently. We have videos of him walking back and forth between Mike and I in our hotel room. We were all so excited! Now he walks with his cane pretty well and will even run a bit if he's holding my hand, his "running" is hilarious but I love it! And of course, he still loves to climb and do things that are a little risky. Danger is his middle name. 😉 He didn't really know how to be held when he first came to us, I think it had something to do with his low tone because he wouldn't try to hold on, it was like holding a really heavy rag doll. Super fun in all the airports. Now, he can hold on and is the most snuggly, cuddly boy I've ever met! When we got back home he would wake up crying, grieving, inconsolable for months! The only thing that would sometimes help was food. Now, he wakes up smiling and laughing almost always. He had many self stimulating behaviors that he did constantly, those are all gone now but he still loves to tap on everything! All. the. time. Future drummer maybe? The biggest thing was when he finally learned to chew last summer. He went from a very limited diet of mashed or soft foods to now eating everything, he loves food! His faves are chicken nuggets and donuts. He can feed himself an entire meal if its finger foods and can take bites off of things if they aren't cut into bite size pieces (he used to try and shove the whole thing in his mouth), and he's learning to use utensils, he can do everything but scoop. Oh, and he can drink out of all kinds of cups, he only drank from an open cup at first which was interesting because he would want to drop it or throw it when he was done. Speaking of throwing things, he never throws things anymore. He will hold whatever it is out to give to someone and if nobody is there to take it he'll place it down on the floor nicely.  He understands everything we're saying now. The language barrier + nonverbal + no vision was HARD! Still no words but they're coming. I believe it. For now he's working on learning his tactile communication book and he can respond with clapping for yes if we ask him a question about something he wants. He also responds with body language in other conversations and can follow one step commands. He loves music, The Wheels On The Bus is his jam and he's got the 'round and round' motion down. If I say sing, song, or Wheels On The Bus, he immediately starts doing the 'round and round' motion, even if I'm talking to someone else and he heard it.😂 The newest celebration worthy milestone is that he's pretty much potty trained now, at home at least. I haven't been brave enough to let him wear undies when we're out and about. I thought I would lose my mind with that one! Fourth or fifth time's a charm I guess. Maybe the most important thing for my sanity is he's been sleeping! He still has his middle of the night parties about once a week but I can deal with that much better than nightly parties. School has been great for him and he mostly has good days but every once in a while he gets in a funk and has some bad days/weeks. He protests every single morning about going, he starts fussing as soon as I tell him its time for school and then he fusses as we walk into the classroom. He just wants to stay home with mama. All  four my kids were like this. Am I really that awesome?! Haha! Anyway, I'm sure I forgot to mention some things but there's the big stuff. I'll add some pics over the last 2 years.


















Thursday, January 4, 2018

Christmas and a Milestone

Gabe's second Christmas home wasn't the best, unfortunately. I was hopeful this one would be better than the last but he was so sick and completely miserable. He screamed in pain for 5 days, barely ate and didn't do much of anything at all which is unheard of for our busy boy that never stops moving. He's feeling almost back to normal now but still lots of snot and cough/congestion. I guess being in school has caught up to him because the last couple months he can't seem to keep the colds away. Next year will be great, third times a charm, right?  We did get to enjoy going to a tree farm to cut down our own Christmas tree and Gabe loved it! We also got to enjoy Christmas Eve with the Sloan side of the family before he started feeling really bad so we did make a couple of good holiday memories.

Gabe has now been with us longer than he was with anyone else (birth family, orphanage, foster home). It's a bittersweet milestone because in a perfect world he would have been able to grow up with his birth family, but we live in a broken world and for reasons we will never know, his family couldn't raise him. I'm hoping he is starting to feel like we aren't going anywhere, he isn't going anywhere and this is permanent, we are his and he is ours forever. The next big milestone will be just after he turns 6, at that point he will have been with us longer than he was without us.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and pray you all are blessed in this new year! I'm going to try to be more consistent on posting blog updates this year.😊

Enjoy the pictures below. You can see in one pic how he's starting to like (or be ok with) having a blanket on, especially if I warm it up in the dryer for a few minutes. Little prince. Haha!









Thursday, November 30, 2017

20 Months On This Adoption Roller Coaster

Gabe has been home 20 months now. That's 20 months of joy and tears, happy times and hard times, laughter and heartbreak, love and learning, and all things in between! It's a roller coaster ride that's for sure! Gabe is having a bit of a hard time lately, every 2-3 months he gets in a funk like this, it's strange and it can last a week or up to a month. I've noticed weather change affects him and the weather in TN has been insane so maybe that's what's going on. I also think he's going through the terrible two's even though he's four. He's been having tantrums when he doesn't get his way or when he's told no and he's been giving all his "people" a hard time (teachers, therapists, TVI, O&M). Basically, he wants to do what HE wants to do and not do what anyone else wants him to do.  So, I was a little worried going into his IEP meeting this morning because I know how difficult he's been lately. I printed off several copies of this article http://www.bgcenter.com/BGPublications/OrphanageBehavior.htm on post orphanage behavior to give them a better understanding about him and his sometimes VERY difficult behavior. They all seemed eager to read it so that's good. I love all his people, ya'll! The first thing said this morning was "We just love him! Everyone is this building that knows him loves him!" That was followed by everyone talking "bragging" about all the progress he's made so far. I realize all IEP meetings don't go like this and I feel amazingly blessed by Gabe's wonderful team. We talked about kindergarten next year which i'm quite concerned about how a full day of school will go. He'll be in a regular classroom for some parts of the day and a special education class for the rest of the day. My plan is for him to be fully potty trained before kindergarten but if not they will work on it at school. Yay!

That's all Ive got for today. Please pray for Gabe to get his happy back. Love y'all!






By the way, muffin tins are hilarious!

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Gabe Update - Home 16 Months!

It's been a long time (7 months) since I've written a blog update. Oops...life is busy! Anyway, Gabe has been home 16 months now and he's changed and grown so very much in that time.  Physically, he's grown 7 inches and 9 pounds,  3 of those pounds he gained in the first two weeks with us in China! He's a big Mongolian boy and he loves to eat! His biggest accomplishment lately is that he finally learned to chew and now he eats almost everything! I happily took him off the waiting list for feeding therapy. Yay!

It's no secret that Gabe had a difficult time adjusting to life after coming home and who could blame him?  Everything was new and different and he didn't ask for any of it. We were waiting for him and loving him from afar for a year but he wasn't waiting for us, he was happy right where he was. When you add blindness, not being able to communicate, and not being able to understand this new language.....well, its a lot for a little guy to handle. We were stuck in our house for almost a year because going anywhere was just too overwhelming for him. He would immediately cover his ears and cry in any place that wasn't home. So, we stayed home and waited for him to be comfortable and feel safe.

I'm happy to report we can now leave the house with him! I think a big turning point was starting preschool last January. School just started again this week and Gabe is doing amazing! He has been hesitant about walking in to his classroom, he pulls back so I'm basically dragging him and he whines. Once he's in he does just fine though so I'm taking it as a positive sign for our bonding and attachment.😃 In Gabe's classroom they have a special area just for him, it's a safe area for him to go in case he's feeling overwhelmed. Well, so far he has not used it at all in this first week of school, he's been participating in all the class activities!
A few things Gabe can do now that he didn't do when he came home:
-Feed himself finger foods- He is still hesitant to pick up some foods but we're making progress.
-Eat with utensils-we're still working on scooping.
- Play with toys- on his own terms. If he finds it himself he will explore it, if we give him something, he wants nothing to do with it.
-Use the potty. He will even sit on the big potty now, but we are far from him being potty trained.😕
-Shake his head 'yes and no' appropriately- sometimes....he's stubborn!
-Go up and down stairs independently.
-Starting to use his cane a little bit.
-Using a blanket and touching soft things.  He absolutely hated blankets, stuffed animals, anything with a soft texture and would get upset if he came in contact with these things. Now he uses a weighted blanket to sleep and has been intentionally touching fleece blankets and stuffed animals, even petting the dogs on occasion.

We were a little concerned in those early months about how often Gabe would stim, but we hardly ever see any of those now. The same is true about covering his ears with his hands, he still does this for comfort but it's so much less than before.  He seems to understand most of what we say to him now and that has made life a lot easier. I could go on and on I'm sure but i'll stop here for now and leave you guys with some pictures. Please pray with us that Gabe will be able to learn how to talk one of these days.



















I went a tad bit crazy taking pics today.🙊










Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Traumaversary?

Look at this! Two blog posts in one month.😃(Ok, so I started writing it in December). As most of you know Gabe did not enjoy Christmas. He doesn't like changes in routines and schedules, he doesn't enjoy visiting relatives, he doesn't like the sound of paper tearing. Basically all things Christmas.  It was nothing like I imagined our first Christmas with him would be, but that's true for the whole adoption experience and it's ok because he's been through a lot, too much really. Our home is the fourth place he's lived in his short life. Can you even imagine? Not only the fourth place he's lived but he's had people come and go from his life and that's just hard, we are forever, he doesn't know it yet and he doesn't understand but time will help him to realize that we're here to stay.  Mike and I took shifts with Gabe at home while the other parent and other kids went to visit family during the holidays.  I'm hopeful that 2017 will bring lots of progress for our little guy and he will be able to enjoy doing things outside of our home without so much fear and anxiety.

On New Year's Eve Gabe woke up from a nap screaming for an hour and a half. We couldn't do anything to calm him.  I always think about the date when things like this happen, and wouldn't you know it had been 9 months to the day when we took Gabe out of his home country and away from the people that loved him, away from familiar food, smells, and language. On top of all that, as if that isn't enough, our travel day was so horrible. If it was traumatizing for Mike and I (and it was), it must've been even more so for Gabe. I think traumaversaries can happen even on a monthly basis sometimes, or at least it seems so from our experience.

Tomorrow is Gabe's first day of preschool! I'm praying he settles in does well. I think it will be good for him in so many ways. He's already come so far. Remember when we couldn't turn the television on without him freaking out? He has moved beyond that now, thank goodness! Keep the prayers coming, we need them!